or greater, 68040 processor or better, double-speed
CD-ROM drive, 5MB free RAM, 15MB free hard drive
space, color display. Contact Berkeley systems at (510)
549-2300 or BrklySystm@aol.com
Imagine, if you will...you’re at a game show. In fact, you’re
a contestant. You’re pitting your wits against two of your best friends, for title of...well...smartest guy in the room. The questions are frequently inane, at times lewd, and, more often than not, completely mind boggling. If you mess up, the game show’s host will serve up a dish of sarcasm that will have your competitors cracking up at their buzzers. The game is both infuriating and entertaining, stressful and hilarious. And in the end, no matter what your performance, you’re still told that YOU DON’T KNOW JACK.
This is the premise behind Berkeley's new pop culture trivia game show for the Macintosh. It works—and it works well. Instead of using cheesy visuals to bring you “to” a game show (as with so many game show-to-computer ports), YOU DON’T KNOW JACK brings the show to you.
The game relies heavily on verbal audio clips to create its wonderful illusion. The host, Nate, walks you through each game with an amazingly random set of phrases that, while reused frequently, are so expertly strung together with other phrases you’ll believe that Nate is alive and well, living inside your Macintosh. Often preceded with colorful commentary to set the scene, each category and question is read aloud to the players, and each right answer is rewarded with a short explanation (for the clueless among us).
The game can be played by one to three players, in either a seven or 21 question format. Players are assigned buzzers on the keyboard (“Q,” “B,” and “P”); when a player thinks he or she knows an answer, the player simply buzzes in and selects it by choosing keys “1” through “4.”
In regular game play, contestants are presented with a choice of three categories for each question; the question number is then presented with a little song and dance (and I mean it—the question number flies around the display while you hear such whimsical lyrics like “Flush your head down the latrine/Ease your way with sour cream/Sixteen”). At times, players will stumble onto a “Gibberish Question” where a famous quote is offered as gibberish. Racing against the clock, contestants will compete to translate “Hey! Lenny craved his Ma Debby burned” into “A penny saved is a penny earned”.
 
At the end of each game, contestants proceed to the “Jack Attack”, a Final Jeopardy!-like round where you must match items flying around your display based upon a clue. In one such round, the clue could be “Black and White”, alluding to opposites. “Valuable” may float onto the screen as the main item to be matched, while would-be matches appear on the display at a much faster rate. When the word “Cheap” appears, the player to first buzz in gets $2,000. The round continues at a dizzying pace, until all matches have been made or time runs out. The Jack Attack round is the most intense, infuriating and down right satisfying aspect of the game, depending upon your performance.
YOU DON’T KNOW JACK keeps track of which questions have been used, saving repeat players from alienating repetition. Combined with the game’s expert randomness, the game remains fresh each time it's booted...unless you load and play YDKJ on another Mac, where you’ll start right from the beginning. To avoid this, simply grab the “UsedD01.Mac” file from the YOU DON’T KNOW JACK folder on your hard drive and take it with you. (This file contains record of all used questions.)
The game is not for everyone. YOU DON’T KNOW JACK’s questions often deal with mature themes, which are best suited to those of us over the age of 16. Additionally, the wealth of pop-culture references may be lost on many players under the age of 20. While playing the game with my 19-year old sister, questions concerning the Brady Bunch and Scooby Doo completely escaped her. Finally, the product is highly localized and very Americentric. Non-US residents may be stumped by questions which concern the US Constitution, amendments and national anthems.
 
To say YOU DON’T KNOW JACK is entertaining is a profound understatement. Whether the questions themselves are simply insane or Nate, the host, is forcing you to answer because you’re so far ahead of your competitors, you won’t go through a game without experiencing a gamut of emotions. It’s infuriating, addictive, side-splittingly funny and intense. It’s a beautiful rarity to come across a computer game so engrossing, so humorous and with such replay value. YOU DON’T KNOW JACK is the best $35 you’ll spend all year.
 
MacSenseED@aol.com
 
 
 
  
Pop Rocket, Inc. $39 (US). Minimum require-
ments: 68030, System 6, 8 MB RAM, color
monitor, CD-ROM drive. 40 MB free hard disk
space recommended for optimal performance.
Sales: (415) 242-2158. Web site: http://www.
poprocket.com/.
How many times have you wished you were a rock
video producer who could travel to other dimensions,
film the endless parade of the bizarre and the insane, edit the footage into high impact videos, and sell the product to media moguls back on Earth to secure your place in rock history? That many? Finally your chance has arrived! In Total Distortion, alien devices appear on Earth that allow interdimensional travel, and you’re off to the Distortion Dimension in a life-or-death gamble for fame and fortune.
After a six-week coma induced by interdimensional travel, you awake in the bedroom of your Personal Media Tower, a four-level, multimillion dollar crash pad equipped with a video editing suite, an interdimensional video phone, an automated kitchen, and an entertaining library of books. Navigation is easy—use the mouse to manipulate objects, click buttons, and choose which direction to move. Be sure to feed yourself and get a beauty sleep to fortify your mental and physical health before venturing outdoors. Browse the bookshelf where you will find humorous puzzles, arcade games, useful tutorials, and a mini-tour of the Haight-Ashbury district in San Francisco. When you’re ready to venture away from your haven, take your camera, guitar, and some sandwiches to keep up your strength. Remember to practice your guitar…you never know when you’ll need to thrash.
The Distortion Dimension is not a friendly place. At first, the puzzles seem tough. If you try, you will fail. If you fail, you will die. If you die, you are taunted. Just save your game often and don’t worry—you’ll catch on quickly. Some of the characters in the Distortion Dimension will talk to you. Conversation in Total Distortion is highly amusing. When it’s your turn to speak, choose from several canned lines ranging from utilitarian to nosy to rude—flattery can only get you so far.
The centerpiece of Total Distortion is the Video Sequencer aboard your media tower. Once you have shot mind blowing video of your experiences in the Distortion Dimension, you can use the Video Sequencer to compose a rock video by combining your raw footage with the stock video clips and music provided. Call the buyers back on Earth to peddle your wares. If they like what they see, they’ll credit your bank account and you’ll gain fame from your success. Videos can also be saved to disk and shared with other Total Distortion owners. On the Pop Rocket web site, gamers can trade videos with each other or enter them in contests.
We were impressed with Total Distortion right from the start. Loving attention to detail is evident at every click of the mouse. Each aspect of the game smugly says, “Yeah, this brief segment took four hundred hours to make, but that’s OK…we just want you to have fun.” Fun we have. Total Distortion’s “Cool!” factor is high. Manic animated sequences, vibrant backgrounds, and zany gizmos immerse the player in another world. The soundtrack is excellent, and is constantly changing from screen to screen—armadillo funk, hamburger industrial, and eerie mood meth…all in 16-bit stereo.
A minor complaint with Total Distortion is the disappointing quality of the lyrics. Tongues firmly planted in cheeks, our hosts have created a crazy, wonderful, wild, and sarcastic world for us to explore. Pop Rocket takes pot shots at industry insiders, pop icons, and even multimedia producers. They had the perfect opportunity to write some really biting, cynical, or, at the very least, humorous lyrics. They failed miserably. “Play this game for fame and acclaim/Got to get funky don’t wanna be lame/Being the best can’t lay no blame/Distortion is loud and fast, not tame.” Seven songs are printed on the CD jacket; none is more eloquent than a Hallmark card.
The manual for Total Distortion is longer that needed. The game’s scenario is unnecessarily explained at length—the game itself presents this information in a much more entertaining fashion. Total Distortion’s controls are also explained in detail, but we think you’ll have more fun figuring it out yourself.
 
Total Distortion is entertaining, engaging, and time consuming. The artists at Pop Rocket love what they do, and it shows. Total Distortion is rich with detailed graphics, music, and programming. There is much to explore, and many surprises make the game worthy of multiple plays. Finally, here’s you’re chance to get off this boring planet and shoot some truly unique footage. Look out, MTV.
